Why Growth Lives on the Other Side of Discomfort

Introduction & Inspiration

My recent attendance at the first-ever PLNGE Connect ice bath and sauna networking event inspires this article.

This included a group of people sitting in 2°C ice baths for minutes at a time, followed by a boiling hot, wood-fired sauna.

No one looked comfortable but everyone chose to be there.

Smiling once our core body temperatures began to rise.

This prompted me to think about our relationship with discomfort.

Why do we avoid it so much, and what are we missing out on as a result?

Don’t worry, this article isn’t about ice baths, but if you'd like to read one, check out my article on Substack.

The Discomfort from Being Comfortable

As a species, we have done our best to engineer discomfort out of our lives.

We live in suitably heated and cooled houses and wear cushioned footwear.
We use escalators and lifts to reduce stair climbing and create routines so that we avoid anything unpredictable.

Whilst most of the examples above aim to reduce stress on our bodies, I believe they have created a mindset among the general population to avoid anything perceived as uncomfortable.

We have developed a comfort-oriented mindset.

This bleeds into how we approach our growth, goals and challenges in life.

If it seems uncomfortable, we avoid it.

The Cause of Discomfort

Being uncomfortable, in a psychological perspective, often stems from either:

Knowing you should be doing something, but you’re not doing it.

This gap between our intention and our (lack of) action creates an internal friction.
Not knowing what to do at all.

The uncertainty creates stress.

Whilst these both cause discomfort, they also point directly to what we should be working on.

The discomfort from misaligned intention and actions or not knowing what to do.

Stepping into Discomfort

Here is what I’ve witnessed both from my own life and through my work with coaching clients:

When someone is willing to be safely challenged, discomfort almost always precedes a breakthrough.

One of the first questions I ask at the beginning of a coaching session is:

“How much challenge or discomfort are you comfortable with today?”

It can sound paradoxical at first.
How can you be comfortable with discomfort?

My clients tend to like this question.
They see it as an invitation to take on a challenge and really get the most growth out of a session.

Are you up for the challenge of being uncomfortable?

If a coaching session remains too comfortable for the client, only surface-level topics will be discussed, and the results will be only surface-level and will not address deeper issues.

On the other hand, if a client isn’t in the mindset for a significant challenge, they may shut down and avoid sharing their true thoughts and feelings.

If the right balance is achieved, the client can explore their beliefs, values, and self-identity, and how these relate to their presenting issues.

This can unlock the real problem behind the presenting problem.

This is why the best coaching rarely focuses on surface-level problems.

As Marcia Reynolds says:

“Coach the person, not the problem”

Reflections

Think back to the times in your life when you experienced the most exponential growth.

Did you remain in your comfort zone?

Or did you do things that made you nervous?

Were you doing tasks you found easy and routine?

Or did you go through the pains of learning something difficult that you weren’t good at?

What do you know you should be doing, but keep putting off because of the discomfort of being nervous or afraid of failure?

Ready to Step into Discomfort?

If you recognise yourself in any of this, knowing what you should do but not doing it, or feeling stuck without knowing why, that's exactly where coaching can help.

I work with professionals who are ready to step into discomfort, do the deeper work and create real, lasting change.

Book a free discovery call and let's find out what's on the other side of your comfort zone.

P.s. I’m launching an email newsletter in Q2. It will be quick to read (~2 minutes) and contain insight-dense information to take into your day.

Become a founding subscriber today (first 100 only) and join the waitlist.

The comfort trap