Having children increases your ambition but decreases your capacity at the same time.
Something I have been struggling with lately is balancing ambition against reality.
When I first became a dad, it seemed to unlock a drive and ambition in me to provide, protect, and better myself so I could be a positive role model for my son.
At the same time as giving me this boost in drive with one hand, it also naturally took away my time and energy to be able to do these things with the other hand.
I call this the Parental Progress Paradox (working title).
For me, this looked like:
Wanting to progress in my career and business, but being tired and time-poor due to the extra family commitments required to be a present parent.
Wanting to eat healthy, but not having enough time to meal prep or train as much as I’d like.
Wanting to provide a clean and safe environment for my child, but not having the energy or motivation to do so once my son was finally in bed at 8pm.
Do any of these sound familiar to you?
Another aspect of this paradox can be when the means begin to conflict with the end.
Like working so hard to provide and then not being present for your children, who at the end of the day, just want to spend quality time with you.
What's the solution to this paradox?
Well, the definition of a paradox is:
“A statement, situation, or proposition that seems self-contradictory or against common sense, but may reveal a deeper truth or a complex reality.”
The deeper truth in this instance may be that your priorities or core values aren't aligning with your actions.
Through introspection, self-discovery and powerful questioning (either from yourself or a Coach), you can begin to understand what you really stand for and what you need to do to live in alignment with them.
Sometimes, what we think are our goals or values are really just the ones we inherit from others, or they just seem like they should be ours.
Examples could be reaching a VP position at work because that’s just what ambitious people do, or working overtime every weekend just so you can buy things you don’t really want or need, just to impress people who you don’t really like.
Maybe, if you are already providing a baseline financial and safe lifestyle for your family, you might realise that working harder for even more money might not be the answer.
Instead, having a few extra hours a week and being more present will actually provide your children with the love and attention that they actually need from you.
The same goes for your level of fitness: do you need to be able to run an ultra marathon or compete at Hyrox, or do you just need to be mobile enough and fit enough to play football once a week with your kids?
How do you balance your ambitions with family life?
